Have you have experienced an event so stressful it continues to haunt you? You may have had someone label it PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Whatever it is named or not named you re-experience the heart pounding, the shortness of breath, the flashbacks, the fear or the dread.
I understand. I was particularly tired the other day and my breath hitched in my chest for some reason. It took me back to a desert place in my life when I was ill. One of the most frightening symptoms during this time was difficulty breathing. I rocked myself to sleep some nights not knowing if my breathing would stop but also knowing it might only be then the doctor would find out what was wrong. I got up every day trying to find a flower petal in the midst of the dirt. I railed against God and pleaded. Why didn’t I deserve a miracle? I believed in them. I’ve heard of them. Maybe God was angry with me? Why? Help! Why?
I never stopped talking to God. This doesn’t mean faith was ever present. I frantically searched for an answer. There had to be some way to make sense of the senseless. Any minute I would be blessed with wisdom and insight that would make everything understandable and dare I say…. controllable. Thankfully God received my cries of desperation and despair as prayer.
I know the bible states “yay tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil.” I wasn’t sure about evil but I was certainly afraid. As I began the long journey back to health, I shared my confusion with my husband. I believe his was the message from God when he said “how do you know there wasn’t a miracle.” Ahhhh. That one made me pause. My vision is so limited I have no idea what my experience could have been. I only know I am here to share it with you.
What is your Valley? What is your struggle? What is required for healing? There is no one answer but it is important to find what works for you.
1. Create a healing team – this includes anyone who is positively supportive of you and what you are trying to achieve. This does not mean blind agreement, it means loving engagement.
2. Begin, continue, deepen a meditative practice – there are many different ways of doing this. Try them until you find one that makes you go ahhhh.
3. Keep talking to God or keep up with our spiritual practice, whatever that is.
And that hitch in breath I experienced… – after stopping, checking in with my body and waiting a second… it was just a “oh that just is” experience. There was no reason to make it more than it was. I could move on.
Please share about your Valley and how you have or are continuing to heal.